This is what came up when I typed "prayer" in The Online Etymology Dictionary
As you can see, there are many ways to pray, many different meanings for the word. I prefer to think of the word as synonymous with "wish," if a word is required to describe a feeling, an act, an emotion, that grows first from the heart and then spreads out to share itself with others.
But in that desire is also found the ultimate peril--the danger of thinking you know what is best for someone and you will pray for them until they bow to your will.
That is the most selfish use of prayer imaginable. You don't pray to bend someone. You pray to heal them. You pray to bring something good into their lives.
If someone prays to change someone instead of praying to change the situation, then they need to examine what gives them the right to make such a value judgement. If no answer is forthcoming, then they should pray for themselves and ask whatever spirit hovers in their zone of belief, to bring them some much needed enlightenment.
"pray" c.1290, "ask earnestly, beg," also "pray to a god or saint," from O.Fr. preier (c.900), from L. precari "ask earnestly, beg," from *prex (plural preces, gen. precis) "prayer, request, entreaty," from PIE base *prek- "to ask, request, entreat" (cf. Skt. prasna-, Avestan frashna- "question;" O.C.S. prositi, Lith. prasyti "to ask, beg;" O.H.G. frahen, Ger. fragen, O.E. fricgan "to ask" a question). Prayer (c.1300) is from O.Fr. preiere, from V.L. *precaria, noun use of L. precaria, fem. of adj. precarius "obtained by prayer," from precari.
"oration" c.1375, "prayer," from L.L. orationem (nom. oratio) "speaking, discourse, language, prayer," from L. oratus, pp. of orare (see orator). Meaning "formal speech, discourse" first recorded 1502.
"primer" c.1386, "prayer-book," also "school book" (senses not distinguished in Middle Ages, as reading was taught from prayer books), from M.L. primarius, from L. primus "first" (see prime (adj.)). The exact sense is uncertain, and the word may be from prime (n.) on the same notion as a "Book of Hours." Meaning "small introductory book on any topic" is from 1807.
"paternoster" "the Lord's Prayer," O.E. Pater Noster, from L. pater noster "our father," first words of the Lord's Prayer in Latin. Meaning "set of rosary beads" first recorded c.1250. Paternoster Row, near St. Paul's in London (similarly named streets are found in other cathedral cities), reflects the once-important industry of rosary bead-making.
"mea culpa" c.1374, from L., lit. "I am to blame," a phrase from the prayer of confession in the L. liturgy.
"boon" (n.) c.1175, from O.N. bon "a petition, prayer," from P.Gmc. *boniz (cf. O.E. ben "prayer, petition," bannan "to summon;" see ban). The adj. meaning "jolly" (in boon companion) is first recorded c.1325, from unrelated O.Fr. bon "good" (see bon).
"bead" 1377, bede "prayer bead," from O.E. gebed "prayer," from P.Gmc. *bešan (cf. M.Du. bede, O.H.G. beta, Ger. bitte, Goth. bida). Shift in meaning came via beads threaded on a string to count prayers, and in phrases like to bid one's beads, to count one's beads. Ger. cognate Bitte is the usual word for conversational request "please." Also related to bid (O.E. biddan) and Goth. bidjan "to ask, pray." Sense transferred to "drop of liquid" 1596; to "small knob forming front sight of a gun" 1831 (Kentucky slang); hence draw a bead on "take aim at," 1841, U.S. colloquial.
"common" 1297, from O.Fr. comun, from L. communis "in common, public, general, shared by all or many," from PIE *ko-moin-i- "held in common," compound adjective formed from *ko- "together" + *moi-n-, suffixed form of base *mei- "change, exchange" (see mutable), hence lit. "shared by all." Second element of the compound also is the source of L. munia "duties, public duties, functions," those related to munia "office." Perhaps reinforced in O.Fr. by Frank. descendant of P.Gmc. *gamainiz (cf. O.E. gemęne "common, public, general, universal"), from the P.Gmc. form of PIE *ko-moin-i- (see mean (adj.)). Used disparagingly of women and criminals since c.1300. Commons "the third estate of the English people as represented in Parliament" is from 1377. Common sense is 14c., originally the power of uniting mentally the impressions conveyed by the five physical senses, thus "ordinary understanding, without which one is foolish or insane" (L. sensus communis, Gk. koine aisthesis); meaning "good sense" is from 1726. Common pleas is 13c., from Anglo-Fr. communs plets, hearing civil actions by one subject against another as opposed to pleas of the crown. Common prayer is contrasted with private prayer.
"precarious" 1646, a legal word, "held through the favor of another," from L. precarius "obtained by asking or praying," from prex (gen. precis) "entreaty, prayer." Notion of "dependent on the will of another" led to sense "risky, dangerous, uncertain" (1687).
"muezzin" "official who calls Muslims to prayer from the minaret of a mosque," 1585, from Arabic muadhdhin, properly active part. of adhdhana, frequentative of adhanna "he proclaimed," from uthn "ear." Eng. spelling is from dial. use of -z- for -dh-.
"breviary" 1547, "brief statement;" sense of "short prayer book used by Catholic priests" is from 1611, from L. breviarium "summary," neut. of adj. breviarius "abridged," from breviare "to shorten, abbreviate," from brevis "short."
"litany" 1225, from M.L. letania, from L.L. litania, from Gk. litaneia "litany, an entreating," from lite "prayer, supplication, entreaty," of unknown origin. From notion of monotonous enumeration of petitions came generalized sense of "repeated series," 19c., borrowed from Fr.
"ascetic" (adj.) 1646, from Gk. asketikos "rigorously self-disciplined," from asketes "monk, hermit," from askein "to exercise, train," originally "to train for athletic competition, practice gymnastics, exercise." The noun meaning "one of the early Christians who retired to the desert to live solitary lives of meditation and prayer" is from 1673.
"oratory" (2) "small chapel," c.1300, from L.L. oratorium "place of prayer" (especially the Oratory of St. Philip Neri in Rome, where musical services were presented), properly an adj., as in oratorium templum, from neut. of L. oratorius "of or for praying," from orare (see orator).
"deprecation" 1490 (deprecative), from M.Fr. deprécation, from L. deprecationem, from deprecari "plead in excuse, avert by prayer," from de- "away" + precari "pray." Sense of "show disapproval" is first attested 1612.
"curse" O.E. curs "a prayer that evil or harm befall one," of uncertain origin, perhaps O.Fr. curuz "anger," or L. cursus "course." Connection with cross is unlikely. No similar word exists in Gmc., Romance, or Celtic. Meaning "to swear profanely" is from c.1230. Curses as a histrionic exclamation is from 1885. The curse "menstruation" is from 1930.
"requiescat" "name of a prayer for the repose of the dead," 1824, from L. phrase requiescat in pace (often abbreviated R.I.P.), lit. "may he begin to rest in peace," from inceptive of requies "rest, repose" (see requiem).
"orison" c.1175, from Anglo-Fr. oreison, O.Fr. oraison "oration" (12c.), from L. orationem (nom. oratio) "speech, oration," in Church L. "prayer, appeal to God," from orare (see orator). Etymologically, a doublet of oration.
"mantis" 1658, "type of insect that holds its forelegs in a praying position" (esp. the praying mantis, Mantis religiosa), from Gk. mantis, lit. "one who divines, a seer, prophet," from mainesthai "be inspired," related to menos "passion, spirit" (see mania). The insect so called for its way of holding the forelimbs as if in prayer. Also used in Gk. for some sort of grasshopper (Theocritus).
"brahmin" "member of Boston's upper class," 1823, fig. use of Brahman "member of the highest priestly Hindu caste," 1481, from Skt. brahmana-s, from brahman- "prayer," also "the universal soul, the Absolute." Related to Brahma, chief god of the trinity Brahma-Vishnu-Siva in Hindu religion.
"orator" c.1374, "one who pleads or argues for a cause," from Anglo-Fr. oratour, from O.Fr. orateur (14c.), from L. oratorem (nom. orator) "speaker," from orare "speak before a court or assembly, plead," from PIE base *or- "to pronounce a ritual formula" (cf. Skt. aryanti "they praise," Homeric Gk. are, Attic ara "prayer," Hittite ariya- "to ask the oracle," aruwai- "to revere, worship"). Meaning "public speaker" is attested from c.1430.
"vamp" (n.) "seductive woman," 1911, short for vampire. First attested use is earlier than the release of the Fox film "A Fool There Was" (January 1915), with sultry Theda Bara in the role of The Vampire. But the movie was based on a play of that name that had been a Broadway hit (title and concept from a Kipling poem, "The Vampire"), and the word may ultimately trace to Bara's role. At any rate, Bara (real name Theodosia Goodman) remains the classic vamp.
"A fool there was and he made his prayer (Even as you and I!)
To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair
(We called her the woman who did not care)
But the fool, he called her his lady fair
(Even as you and I.)
[Kipling, "The Vampire"]"
"which" O.E. hwilc (W.Saxon) "which," short for hwi-lic "of what form," from P.Gmc. *khwilikaz (cf. O.S. hwilik, O.N. hvelikr, Swed. vilken, O.Fris. hwelik, M.Du. wilk, Du. welk, O.H.G. hwelich, Ger. welch, Goth. hvileiks "which"), from *khwi- "who" (see who) + *likan "body, form" (cf. O.E. lic "body;" see like). In M.E. used as a relative pronoun where mod. Eng. would use who, as still in the Lord's Prayer. O.E. also had parallel forms hwelc and hwylc, which disappeared 15c.
"mass" (2) "Eucharistic service," O.E. męsse, from V.L. *messa "eucharistic service," lit. "dismissal," from L.L. missa "dismissal," fem. pp. of mittere "to let go, send," from concluding words of the service, Ite, missa est, "Go, (the prayer) has been sent," or "Go, it is the dismissal."
"closet" c.1340, from O.Fr. closet "small enclosure," dim. of clos, from L. clausum "closed space," from neut. pp. of claudere "to shut" (see close (v.)). In Matt. vi:6 used to render L. cubiculum, Gk. tamieion; originally in Eng. "a private room for study or prayer;" modern sense of "small side-room for storage" is first recorded 1616. The adjective meaning "secret, unknown" recorded from 1952, first of alcoholism, but by 1970s used principally of homosexuality; the phrase come out of the closet "admit something openly" first recorded 1963, and led to new meanings for the word out.
"fame" c.1290, "celebrity, renown," from O.Fr. fame, from L. fama "talk, rumor, report, reputation," from PIE base *bha- "to speak, tell, say" (cf. Skt. bhanati "speaks;" L. fari "to say;" Arm. ban, bay "word, term;" O.C.S. bajati "to talk, tell;" O.E. boian "to boast," ben "prayer, request;" Gk. pheme "talk," phone "voice, sound," phanai "to speak;" O.Ir. bann "law"). The goddess Fama was the personification of rumor in Roman mythology. The L. derivative fabulare was the colloq. word for "speak, talk" since the time of Plautus, whence Sp. hablar.
"petition" (n.) c.1330, "a supplication or prayer, especially to a deity," from O.Fr. peticiun (12c.), from L. petitionem (nom. petitio) "a request, solicitation," noun of action from petere "to require, seek, go forward," also "to rush at, attack," ult. from PIE base *pet- "to fly" (cf. Skt. patram "wing, feather, leaf," patara- "flying, fleeting;" Hittite pittar "wing;" Gk. piptein "to fall," potamos "rushing water," pteryx "wing;" O.E. fešer "feather;" L. penna "feather, wing;" O.C.S. pero "feather;" O.Welsh eterin "bird"). Meaning "formal written request to a superior (earthly)" is attested from 1414. The verb is 1607, from the noun.
"enlighten" 1382 (O.E. had inlihtan), "to remove the dimness or blindness (usually figurative) from one's eyes or heart," from en- + lighten. Enlightenment is 1669 in the spiritual sense; 1865 as a translation of Ger. Aufklärung, a name for the spirit and system of Continental philosophers in the 18c. "The philosophy of the Enlightenment insisted on man's essential autonomy: man is responsible to himself, to his own rational interests, to his self-development, and, by an inescapable extension, to the welfare of his fellow man. For the philosophes, man was not a sinner, at least not by nature; human nature -- and this argument was subversive, in fact revolutionary, in their day -- is by origin good, or at least neutral. Despite the undeniable power of man's antisocial passions, therefore, the individual may hope for improvement through his own efforts -- through education, participation in politics, activity in behalf of reform, but not through prayer." [Peter Gay]
"wing" (n.) c.1175, wenge, from O.N. vęngr "wing of a bird, aisle, etc." (cf. Dan., Swed. vinge "wing"), of unknown origin, perhaps from a P.Gmc. *we-ingjaz and ult. from PIE base *we- "blow" (cf. O.E. wawan "to blow;" see wind (n.)). Replaced O.E. fešra (pl.) "wings" (see feather). The meaning "either of two divisions of a political party, army, etc." is first recorded c.1400; theatrical sense is from 1790. Verbal phrase wing it (1885) is from theatrical slang sense of an actor learning his lines in the wings before going onstage, or else not learning them at all and being fed by a prompter in the wings. The verb to wing "shoot a bird in the wing" is from 1802. The slang sense of to earn (one's) wings is 1940s, from the wing-shaped badges awarded to air cadets on graduation. To be under (someone's) wing "protected by (someone)" is recorded from c.1230. Phrase on a wing and a prayer is title of a 1943 song about landing a damaged aircraft.
"grace" c.1175, "God's favor or help," from O.Fr. grace "pleasing quality, favor, good will, thanks," from L. gratia "pleasing quality, good will, gratitude," from gratus "pleasing, agreeable," from PIE base *gwer- "to praise, welcome" (cf. Skt. grnati "sings, praises, announces," Lith. gririu "to praise, celebrate," Avestan gar- "to praise"). Sense of "virtue" is c.1330, that of "beauty of form or movement, pleasing quality" is c.1340. In classical sense, "one of the three sister goddesses (L. Gratię, Gk. Kharites), bestowers of beauty and charm," it is first recorded in Eng. 1579 in Spenser. The short prayer that is said before or after a meal (c.1225, until 16c. usually graces) is in the sense of "gratitude." Verb meaning "to show favor" (c.1440) led to that of "to lend or add grace to something" (1586, e.g. grace us with your presence), which is the root of the musical sense in grace notes (1657). Gracious as an exclamation (1713) is short for gracious God, etc.
"king" O.E. cyning, from P.Gmc. *kuninggaz (cf. Du. koning, O.H.G. kuning, O.N. konungr, Dan. konge, Ger. könig). Possibly related to O.E. cynn "family, race" (see kin), making a king originally a "leader of the people;" or from a related root suggesting "noble birth," making a king originally "one who descended from noble birth." The sociological and ideological implications make this a topic of much debate. Finnish kuningas "king," O.C.S. kunegu "prince" (Rus. knyaz, Boh. knez), Lith. kunigas "clergyman" are loans from Gmc. In O.E., used for names of chiefs of Anglian and Saxon tribes or clans, then of the states they founded. Also extended to British and Danish chiefs they fought. The chess piece so called from 1411; the playing card from 1563; use in checkers/draughts first recorded 1820. Applied in nature to species deemed remarkably big or dominant (e.g. king crab, 1698),
""As leon is the king of bestes." [John Gower, "Confessio Amantis," 1390]"
"Kingfisher" (1440) was originally king's fisher, for obscure reasons. Kingdom-come "the next world" (1785) is from the Lord's Prayer. The film "King Kong" was released 1933.
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